So I have officially graduated from high school. I'll never see everyone in my class all together again. I'll never have high school work to do again. I'm finishedd. It's weird but happy. Our graudation ceremony was less than an hour long and it just felt weird. Like I felt like I was in a dream or something (not good or bad, just weird). Of course one of the speakers brought up Field Day again and we were all like WTF basically. She probably tried to top Jen's speech but that's basically impossible. It was so weird seeing all my teachers and stuff for the last time. I'm probably going to miss some of my teachers more than some of my classmates. I was really sad at graduation just because I really feel like my youth is down the drain. I am aware that I am a drama queen, but like high school is over. I have four more years to do whatever and then that's basically it. I'm subject to doing the same thing every single day for the rest of my life with no long breaks or anything, until I die, with nothing to look forward to. Sometimes I hate having such an existential view on things, but it's really an excellent coping mechanism when things go wrong. Not that anything has been going particularly wrong, so now it's just kind of depressing. I'm such an emo kid sometimes..
This past week was senior week. I seriously don't even know where to begin. Like I have no idea. I felt like I was at the beach for literally a month cause I saw so many different people and was always doing something or going somewhere. It was a lot of fun but by the end I was getting kinda burned out cause I felt like I was there for so long. We got evicted which was lovely. Honestly when it happened, I could not stop laughing, partly because I was in shock that it had such good timing and that it didn't happen sooner, and partly because I was slightly intoxicated. The only thing that sucks is now we don't get the security deposit back, but whatever. It makes for a good story. And drama llama is going to be a new saying when things get intense (haha <3). I'm not gonna even bother trying to summarize the week much more than that. One day I'll learn to put my fucking phone away when I have alcohol in me though.. and that will be a glorious day.
So now it's summer.. for real this time, not "hey have two weeks off and then come back and graduate". It's really hitting me that everything I do is for the last time. Like I'll probably never have a full fall, winter, or spring in Maryland again. I feel like everything is just changing. I'll probably hang out with more Mercy people this summer than I did this whole school year and i'll be done being a loner but we'll see. I pretty much isolated myself except from a select few people this year cause I just couldn't deal with things and people but whatevv. Two months basically and then I'm gonee. It's gonna be really weird like the first time I come home. I feel like a lot is going to be different. I'm so excited for fall though. I'm really excited for orientation though just cause it'll be preparation for the school year which i'm excited about. I just can't wait to be out of Maryland really. I haven't found my niche here and I want to be away from home. I'm kind of scared for the academic portion because I legit need to get like straight A's or reevaluate what I've always wanted to do with my life. No pressure or anything.
Whatever. OH.. something I'm completely infuriated and depressed about: I leave for one freaking week, and I come back to the mall and Gloria Jeans is gone. Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK. I literally go there almost EVERY time I work, and now it's gone! Fuck starbucks, gloria jeans was where it was at. And now it's gone.. forever. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. UGH. That just shows how much they're changing the mall, and when I come home the first time from college, it's gonna be crazy different. It'll be really nice but I don't ride change well sometimes. It depends. But anywayy, I'm gonna go find something to do. Probably not, but I can pretend.